Uh… Where’s Spring??

I’m back from my week away from the internet. I think it’s good for me to take these little times and totally unplug. Anyway…

It was cold and rainy up until yesterday and BOOM… 90* weather today. It was like the late gray winter weather decided to go as long as it could and then let the heat come in all at once.

Seriously though, I like it. I do miss the 70-80* weather that should have come, but I am very glad it is warm. I don’t do so well with cold. I took a walk down to Walgreens this morning to refill my prescription. I love the sunshine and the slight wind.

Right now, I’m busy with the kids dance rehearsals. They all have extra practices to get ready for the recital in mid-June. AnnaBeth and Noelle got their recital outfits for ballet this last Saturday. I took photos with my phone and will be posting them on FB. I can’t wait to see what Noelle’s got for tap or what James’s outfits will be for hip-hop and jazz. We also have other things to do and I really want to go to the zoo again sometime. I love going to Brookfield zoo. I think this Thursday is free, so hopefully I can take the kids then. (Any of my Chicago-land friends want to join us there?)

I’ve had some lovely times with the three kids that are here. Amie and Chris are down at my in-laws’. I’ve been playing superhero stuff with James and took him out for a little bit the other day. I took the little girls to Pizza Hut and while waiting for our pizza, we put on some music from my phone (not too loud) and danced and sang in our booth. We’ve played with some little dolls and played princess. Today, we all went to see the Kung Fu Panda 2 movie.

Tomorrow… back to work for Jeremy and housework for me.

Song Lyrics

This song came out a while ago, but this second verse really stood out to me more these last few months.

I heard the doctor,
But what did he say?
I knew I was fine about this time yesterday.
I don’t need answers,
I just need some peace.
I just need someone who could help me get some sleep,
Who could help me get some sleep.

This is from “When a Heart Breaks” by Ben Rector.

I still feel like the days I heard about my different medical conditions are from a dream sometimes. I’m doing pretty good right now. I haven’t been sick in a little over a week and I’ve been a bouncy, happy Pixie. I have been extremely busy, but it’s been mostly fine.

Today, I had a hard time. I forgot to take my meds this morning and about halfway through the day, I flipped out a bit on Jeremy. Poor guy. I guess it is good to see how well my meds are working.

I’m going to take a small break from any and all computer stuff this week though I will still be able to get e-mails on my phone. I think I’m going to unplug myself and just try to relax and have fun. I’ll be back around in a week or so.

Weekend in TN

It takes a lot to get me to travel 10 hrs away for just a weekend, but the wedding of my “little sister” was very worth it.

I stayed with one friend and we talked and talked. I got to know her husband and children a bit better. Her two year old attached herself to me whenever I was at the house. It was very sweet.

The wedding was so beautiful. I got there and was pulled into the bridal room to get lots of hugs from the Bride and her family. I spent a lot of time with them when I lived up the street from them. We talked a little and then I left to let them finish getting ready for the wedding.

I had a lot of fun at the reception. Most of the time was spent catching up, meeting husbands of all three girls, and a bit of dancing with the oldest sister. We got a bit crazy silly at the end of the reception. It was fun. I couldn’t help crying as I left. I felt like I hadn’t had enough time with them. I love them so much.

I went to church with the friend I stayed with and got to see her mom and sister (and family) and Mamaw. LoL Mamaw may not be our grandma by genetics, but we all called her that and she treated Jill and me the same as her own grandkids. It was very good to see them all again.

After church, I had my 10 hr drive home, so I took off after saying good-bye to everyone. It had rain all the way home, but it wasn’t too bad. I got home and my kids were still up, so I got some good hugs and Charlie made sure I got kitty rubs on my legs too.

The girls all asked if I could come back and bring my kids with me next time. We’ll have to figure out a time when we can do that. I think they would all have a lot of fun together.

Going Home…

I’m not talking about where I live, but the place that stays in my heart as home. Tennessee…

I’m going to a friend’s house where I stayed over and over when we lived down there.

I’m going to see another friend be married and see her family. I spent a lot of time at their house also.

On Sunday, I’m going to go to the little church I went to almost every other week with friends. The church that showed me how God loved me enough that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for all of my sins just so I can go live with Him in Heaven and sing and dance for eternity. While there, more friends to see and catch up with.

So… I’m going somewhere that will always be “home” to me no matter where I live.

Long Awaited Health Update #3

Hopefully this will be the last post to catch you all up on what is going on.

The same week that I went to the internal med dr and learned about having an auto-immune disorder, I also had an appointment with my other dr to discuss how my depression/anxiety medicines were doing. There were other things that were going on that I wanted to discuss with her as well.

We talked for a while about many different things and I told her about what the other dr found. She said that some of my symptoms that I were having were not related to the auto-immune disorder. She sent me for some blood tests for her and gave me some meds to take care of the symptoms.

The next Monday, I got a phone call. My thyroid levels were too high and they wanted me to come in after the meds I was taking had taken effect and were finished. That was three weeks ago.

This last Friday, I went back to her. She discussed how she thinks that a lot of stuff that I’ve dealt with throughout my life was probably related to thyroid problems and it’s inability to keep stable levels. Headaches from stress that I used to get long ago at school… (I had to leave school many days during 7th and 8th grades because my headaches were so horrible and then those same headaches started during college.)

She gave me some new medicine to help with my thyroid levels. She said that she was going to keep my depression/anxiety meds on the lowest doses because she thought that these new levels would help a lot. She said I would feel a difference within the first week. I have to say that I already feel better. I’ve felt more like myself. It’s been really wonderful.

So… there you go. I’ve updated you all on what is going on with me.

Thank you so very much for the prayers. I really, really appreciate it.

Long Awaited Health Update #2

Let’s see… where did I leave off? Oh yes, leaving my dr after being diagnosed and given prescriptions for depression and anxiety.

A week after that appointment, the kids got sick. I had a sick kid cuddling with me every day. It pretty much just seemed like a really bad cold for them. A week later, I felt like I couldn’t breath. I had no other symptoms, but since the kids had been sick, I was pretty sure it was the same thing. It was so bad that I went to the hospital. I think I remember blogging about it. I had no fever and when they did a blood test, my white blood cells were not elevated which usually shows a viral or bacterial infection, so after a while, they thought maybe it was my gallbladder because they couldn’t figure out anything else… they sent me home and told me to call an internal medicine dr (different one from my other dr.) the next day and get checked immediately.

I called and got an appointment for the day after. By the time I went in, my head was all stuffy, my throat hurt, and I felt achy all over. The dr was surprised that the hospital didn’t know that I had bronchitis and had them fax my blood tests to him while I was there. He said that my blood tests didn’t look correct, so he was going to have them redone and asked if he could take a few vials of blood to do some other tests with. I had no problem with that. I just wanted to feel better. I left thinking that was it and I would get better.

Three weeks later, just after my grandma died, I was still somewhat getting better from the bronchitis. I felt like it was taking a long time to go completely away. I got a call from the dr… “Your blood test results are in and we need you to come in to discuss them.” My heart dropped at hearing that. I started thinking… maybe it wasn’t bronchitis. Maybe it was something worse. Maybe… you know how your mind goes over and over different things.

I went in the next day and the dr asked about how I was doing with my depression and anxiety first. He wanted to make sure that was under control before anything, I guess. After that, he pulled out my blood test results and started showing me how it showed my immune system hadn’t been working correctly and that’s why the virus that the kids had passed on to me had made me so sick. He said the reason the tests had taken so long to get back was because he did them in a series and not all at one time. He waited for results from the first one before sending in the second so he would know what to test for. The last test he did was to see if I had an auto-immune disorder. It came up positive.

I sat there for a little while just kind of shell shocked. Then I asked if scleraderma was an auto-immune disorder. My grandma had had that. He said it was. Finding out three days after her memorial service really was hard. It’s not certain what kind it is, but he said it is highly possible that it is the same as what she had. He said he wanted to wait a while before more testing. So, we are going to do more in early August.

(Wow… that’s as much as I can write out today… I’m not done, but I think the rest can be written in only one more post. I’ll do my best to write it out tomorrow.)

Long Awaited Health Update #1

My dear friends,

I have had many people ask me how I’m doing and what is going on. Those who know have asked for updates as dr’s appointments come and go. Those who don’t have kept me encouraged by letting me know they are praying for me and thinking of me. So many people have texted, called, e-mailed, and left messages on Facebook. I am very grateful to find out how many people care.

I’ve been struggling with some things for a while… depression, anxiety, stress. This last year has seemed even rougher than usual for me. I just thought it was with all the different things going on… my messed up wrist, AnnaBeth’s broken collar bone, Christine’s stitches, CharlieCat almost dieing, and my grandpa dieing. By the end of January/beginning of February, I was a mess. I couldn’t cope with a lot of things.

Starting the last week of January, I stepped away from internet communications for a while… except for my blog and e-mail. I didn’t chat or go to Facebook and really cut down a lot of my texting. I started making more phone calls to friends and having that more personal contact. It helped a little but I was still having horrible anxiety attacks. Finally in mid-February, one friend talked to me and pretty much insisted I call a dr the next work day. I was hesitant about calling my dr, but when the time came, I got a postcard in the mail saying to call my dr for a check-up. I called.

I didn’t even have to bring up how I was feeling. As soon as the dr walked into the room, she saw my anxiety. I was in a full-blown panic attack. I was shaking and when I tried to talk, I kept repeating words and stuttering. She sat down and we talked for a little while about it and how it was affecting me in every day life. It was a really hard appointment to me, but it was so very good to have someone to talk to that could help. She put me on some medication… the lowest doses to see if it would help and I made an appointment to come back after 6 weeks to see how I was doing on it. I left there feeling like a failure to have to fall back on medication, but I knew I couldn’t do it by myself anymore.

(I’m going to write more tomorrow… this is really hard to write out. Plus, it’s long, so I’m giving it in segments. So… more later.)