Being a Parent is HARD

The last few weeks, I have been in tears more often than normal over having to parent my children. It’s been a very stressful time.

As a parent, you are trying to bring your children up to have good moral standards. As they live under your roof, you sometimes have to make decisions of which you know will break your child’s heart or make them very angry. We don’t always know how our child will act, but as their parent, we can make an educated guess as we get to know how they think as they grow up.

The “Deadpool” movie is one of those hard decisions. It has caused a lot of tension in this house. We were all very excited to hear about it when it was announced, especially James. He has a bunch of the comics and is a big fan of the Marvel character. Then Amie’s best friend, who is also a fan, selected that movie as what she wanted as part of her 18th birthday party. My two oldest children were looking forward to seeing this movie very much. Because I knew this movie would be cruder than other Marvel movies, I had already told my other children they would not be going to see it in the theaters and only at home if we felt they could after we’d seen it.

This week, after much praying, thinking, and research, we decided that none of our children would be going to see it. In fact, because of some of the situations in the movie, neither my husband nor I are going to see it either. We broke it to the children that we were not allowing them to go see it and it felt like there was a bomb that exploded in my house with the anger and hurt that came toward us. “But her parents are okay with her going to see it.” Her parents are not me. “But all of my friends are going.” They are not my children and I am not responsible for their upbringing. “I’m 18 years of age and you can’t tell me what I can and cannot do.” Legally, that is true, but I am still morally obligated to help teach you what is right and wrong and how to make the hard decisions to not do something you really looked forward to when you find out there is something in it that would not be good for you.

I was really looking forward to this movie myself and I have cancelled my own plans to see it because of the contents in the movie. I am not trying to tell others what to do with their children. Each parent has the right to decide for themselves what is right for their children. For me and my children, this movie will be off-limits. We are still getting the aftereffects of the bomb that went off when we told them they wouldn’t be allowed to see it. They are mad. They are hurt. In time, I hope they will understand why we decided this.

Parenting is not for the weak-hearted. It takes guts and standing up for what you believe is correct, no matter how many others come up against you. You have to say “no” sometimes and stick to that, not giving in. There will be a lot of parents who have different opinions than you and will look down on you for it, but stick to your guns and know you are influencing your children with it even though they may not like it.

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Julie

Mom to 5 children, born between 1997 and 2003. I enjoy reading books, blogs, and e-mail. I collect instruments and want to learn how to play a good variety of them. I love singing, especially with my children.

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