Well, ok, I have friends, but you all are out there and I don’t know anybody who lives nearby. I’m feeling extremely lonely right now. I miss my friends from where we used to live in mid-Illinois. I miss my friends from St Louis. I’m really missing my sister a lot. I haven’t really seen her much since Christmas when we were at her house. I had looked forward so much to seeing her at the family reunion back in June, but those spots on my kids prevented that back then. I saw her for about half an hour at Grandpa’s house before they had to get on their way. I was thinking that we might see her for a small time this next month because Jeremy and I had planned on going to St Louis for our anniversary, but we won’t be able to do that now. I was also hoping to be able to go down there in September after the baby is born to help her out a little and to see my new little nephew, but we just can’t afford it.
What I really need is a time to sit with some friends somewhere and talk a bit. Then, put all of it away from me and just have a crazy de-stressing time. It’s not coming soon. I just don’t really connect with anyone up here. I have some good neighbors and people I know at church, but it’s not the same.
Today, I’m just sad and feeling worn-out and like a failure at everything. What is my purpose up here? Where do I fit in? What is my ministry?
I’m not sure this post will stay up. I just had to get it out. It may get pulled after a bit.