Uh… Where’s Spring??

I’m back from my week away from the internet. I think it’s good for me to take these little times and totally unplug. Anyway…

It was cold and rainy up until yesterday and BOOM… 90* weather today. It was like the late gray winter weather decided to go as long as it could and then let the heat come in all at once.

Seriously though, I like it. I do miss the 70-80* weather that should have come, but I am very glad it is warm. I don’t do so well with cold. I took a walk down to Walgreens this morning to refill my prescription. I love the sunshine and the slight wind.

Right now, I’m busy with the kids dance rehearsals. They all have extra practices to get ready for the recital in mid-June. AnnaBeth and Noelle got their recital outfits for ballet this last Saturday. I took photos with my phone and will be posting them on FB. I can’t wait to see what Noelle’s got for tap or what James’s outfits will be for hip-hop and jazz. We also have other things to do and I really want to go to the zoo again sometime. I love going to Brookfield zoo. I think this Thursday is free, so hopefully I can take the kids then. (Any of my Chicago-land friends want to join us there?)

I’ve had some lovely times with the three kids that are here. Amie and Chris are down at my in-laws’. I’ve been playing superhero stuff with James and took him out for a little bit the other day. I took the little girls to Pizza Hut and while waiting for our pizza, we put on some music from my phone (not too loud) and danced and sang in our booth. We’ve played with some little dolls and played princess. Today, we all went to see the Kung Fu Panda 2 movie.

Tomorrow… back to work for Jeremy and housework for me.

Song Lyrics

This song came out a while ago, but this second verse really stood out to me more these last few months.

I heard the doctor,
But what did he say?
I knew I was fine about this time yesterday.
I don’t need answers,
I just need some peace.
I just need someone who could help me get some sleep,
Who could help me get some sleep.

This is from “When a Heart Breaks” by Ben Rector.

I still feel like the days I heard about my different medical conditions are from a dream sometimes. I’m doing pretty good right now. I haven’t been sick in a little over a week and I’ve been a bouncy, happy Pixie. I have been extremely busy, but it’s been mostly fine.

Today, I had a hard time. I forgot to take my meds this morning and about halfway through the day, I flipped out a bit on Jeremy. Poor guy. I guess it is good to see how well my meds are working.

I’m going to take a small break from any and all computer stuff this week though I will still be able to get e-mails on my phone. I think I’m going to unplug myself and just try to relax and have fun. I’ll be back around in a week or so.

Weekend in TN

It takes a lot to get me to travel 10 hrs away for just a weekend, but the wedding of my “little sister” was very worth it.

I stayed with one friend and we talked and talked. I got to know her husband and children a bit better. Her two year old attached herself to me whenever I was at the house. It was very sweet.

The wedding was so beautiful. I got there and was pulled into the bridal room to get lots of hugs from the Bride and her family. I spent a lot of time with them when I lived up the street from them. We talked a little and then I left to let them finish getting ready for the wedding.

I had a lot of fun at the reception. Most of the time was spent catching up, meeting husbands of all three girls, and a bit of dancing with the oldest sister. We got a bit crazy silly at the end of the reception. It was fun. I couldn’t help crying as I left. I felt like I hadn’t had enough time with them. I love them so much.

I went to church with the friend I stayed with and got to see her mom and sister (and family) and Mamaw. LoL Mamaw may not be our grandma by genetics, but we all called her that and she treated Jill and me the same as her own grandkids. It was very good to see them all again.

After church, I had my 10 hr drive home, so I took off after saying good-bye to everyone. It had rain all the way home, but it wasn’t too bad. I got home and my kids were still up, so I got some good hugs and Charlie made sure I got kitty rubs on my legs too.

The girls all asked if I could come back and bring my kids with me next time. We’ll have to figure out a time when we can do that. I think they would all have a lot of fun together.

Going Home…

I’m not talking about where I live, but the place that stays in my heart as home. Tennessee…

I’m going to a friend’s house where I stayed over and over when we lived down there.

I’m going to see another friend be married and see her family. I spent a lot of time at their house also.

On Sunday, I’m going to go to the little church I went to almost every other week with friends. The church that showed me how God loved me enough that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for all of my sins just so I can go live with Him in Heaven and sing and dance for eternity. While there, more friends to see and catch up with.

So… I’m going somewhere that will always be “home” to me no matter where I live.

Long Awaited Health Update #3

Hopefully this will be the last post to catch you all up on what is going on.

The same week that I went to the internal med dr and learned about having an auto-immune disorder, I also had an appointment with my other dr to discuss how my depression/anxiety medicines were doing. There were other things that were going on that I wanted to discuss with her as well.

We talked for a while about many different things and I told her about what the other dr found. She said that some of my symptoms that I were having were not related to the auto-immune disorder. She sent me for some blood tests for her and gave me some meds to take care of the symptoms.

The next Monday, I got a phone call. My thyroid levels were too high and they wanted me to come in after the meds I was taking had taken effect and were finished. That was three weeks ago.

This last Friday, I went back to her. She discussed how she thinks that a lot of stuff that I’ve dealt with throughout my life was probably related to thyroid problems and it’s inability to keep stable levels. Headaches from stress that I used to get long ago at school… (I had to leave school many days during 7th and 8th grades because my headaches were so horrible and then those same headaches started during college.)

She gave me some new medicine to help with my thyroid levels. She said that she was going to keep my depression/anxiety meds on the lowest doses because she thought that these new levels would help a lot. She said I would feel a difference within the first week. I have to say that I already feel better. I’ve felt more like myself. It’s been really wonderful.

So… there you go. I’ve updated you all on what is going on with me.

Thank you so very much for the prayers. I really, really appreciate it.

Long Awaited Health Update #1

My dear friends,

I have had many people ask me how I’m doing and what is going on. Those who know have asked for updates as dr’s appointments come and go. Those who don’t have kept me encouraged by letting me know they are praying for me and thinking of me. So many people have texted, called, e-mailed, and left messages on Facebook. I am very grateful to find out how many people care.

I’ve been struggling with some things for a while… depression, anxiety, stress. This last year has seemed even rougher than usual for me. I just thought it was with all the different things going on… my messed up wrist, AnnaBeth’s broken collar bone, Christine’s stitches, CharlieCat almost dieing, and my grandpa dieing. By the end of January/beginning of February, I was a mess. I couldn’t cope with a lot of things.

Starting the last week of January, I stepped away from internet communications for a while… except for my blog and e-mail. I didn’t chat or go to Facebook and really cut down a lot of my texting. I started making more phone calls to friends and having that more personal contact. It helped a little but I was still having horrible anxiety attacks. Finally in mid-February, one friend talked to me and pretty much insisted I call a dr the next work day. I was hesitant about calling my dr, but when the time came, I got a postcard in the mail saying to call my dr for a check-up. I called.

I didn’t even have to bring up how I was feeling. As soon as the dr walked into the room, she saw my anxiety. I was in a full-blown panic attack. I was shaking and when I tried to talk, I kept repeating words and stuttering. She sat down and we talked for a little while about it and how it was affecting me in every day life. It was a really hard appointment to me, but it was so very good to have someone to talk to that could help. She put me on some medication… the lowest doses to see if it would help and I made an appointment to come back after 6 weeks to see how I was doing on it. I left there feeling like a failure to have to fall back on medication, but I knew I couldn’t do it by myself anymore.

(I’m going to write more tomorrow… this is really hard to write out. Plus, it’s long, so I’m giving it in segments. So… more later.)

Busy, Busy, Busy… and More Busy

This weekend was just a crazy, crazy time for me. I needed the busy-ness of it even though I don’t like being this busy most of the time.

On Friday, after dropping Jeremy off at the train station, I had another dr’s appointment. I think since I’m starting to feel more okay with things that I might share a little more about what is going on, but be patient with me, my friends… I am still coming to terms with everything.

After the dr’s appointment, I went home and picked up the kids. They’d made a picnic lunch while I was at the dr’s office and were all ready to go to the zoo. We have a membership at Brookfield Zoo. It was a lot of fun. We were outside most of the time and spent about 5 hours walking around. Well, most of the time we walked. Near the end, the kids started taking turns getting into the wagon since we no longer needed it to carry the food and drinks. Guess what? I took a turn too! The kids and I giggled so much while they pulled me around.

After the zoo, we came home and I had about ten minutes before I had to head off and go to the train station to get Jeremy. We had a bit of a detour before coming home… we went and bought a second vehicle! I have a car now. It will help save gas and we just needed a second one anyway. Too many things going on right now.

Today, we got up, got the kids ready for dance classes and then I went and rented a small U-Haul van to go pick up some things from my grandparents’ apartment while Jer stayed home and made sure the kids all got to their classes. The trip for me was about 6 hours of driving with a half hour break while the van was loaded up. I got home, we quickly unloaded it and I barely got the van back to the place at the time they needed it for someone else who had reserved it. Whew… what a trip. My wrist hurts a bit from driving that big thing because the steering wheel vibrates so much.

Once I got back home, we packed the kids up in the van and we headed over to the church for a “Back to Africa” Barbecue. We have some missionaries who are trying to get back to their mission field in Africa, but were running low on funds, so our church held this fund raiser for them. It was a lot of fun. I got to be in the fashion show and had on this cute blue outfit with a scarf tied around my head. I know pictures were taken, so I expect it to show up on Facebook at some time… LoL

In the next few weeks/months… hmmm… I sing in the Praise team next week, then in two weeks go to Kingsport for a friend’s wedding (YAY!) and I’ll get to see a few other friends while down there. Then dance classes start getting crazy in preparation for the recital in June. I have my next blood test and dr’s appointment at the beginning of July and another dr’s appointment in early August. Then Andrew and Betsy’s wedding is August 13.

I’ve just gotten home and I’m pretty tired, but not sleepy. It’s funny how that works… I’m exhausted, but my mind is going crazy with everything going on and I can’t settle down. I ought to try, right? Well, off I go to try to sleep.

Breakaway and Fish Tales

Last Saturday night, there was a big all-night youth event here called Breakaway. It’s an annual event that our church group attends. We had 14 kids come with our group and we had a pretty good time.

We started with a rally at Trinity Christian College. I enjoyed the speaker and the improv group.

The rest of the night the youth groups were split into three large groups of around 200 people each. We had pizza first and then spent two hours each at Odyssey Fun World (an arcade), a bowling alley, and Lifetime Fitness, ending the night at 7am Sunday morning and heading back to the church.

I found there was a lot I still am not able to do since hurting my wrist almost a year ago. I had a hard time playing skeeball and laser tag. I couldn’t bowl, play volleyball, basketball, dodge ball, or go rock climbing. Most of my night was sitting or standing around talking, but I love to talk, so it wasn’t bad.

On Sunday, the kids had their Easter musical. It was called Fish Tales. James had some speaking lines and did a great job with them. He played his favorite… the comedian. Christine had a solo and did a an awesome job. I was very proud of my children. Noelle was too young to participate, but the others all did so well.

It was a busy weekend and I was worn out from it, but it was good.

I Love Spring

I am not a cold weather person and winter seems way too long up here in the Chicago area. When the temperatures start getting up into the 60’s, I get excited. I start taking walks again and planning outings to the park and the zoo.

We got a family pass to Brookfield Zoo again. It was so worth when we had it two years ago and the kids were really wanting to go again. So far, we haven’t had an opportunity to go since we’ve had too many rainy days when I’m not watching Little A. If this pattern continues, we may try to get out there on a day I have him.

(Hmm… I got off of my “Spring” topic…)

Spring brings the flowers and you all know how much I love the beauty of a flower and taking pictures of them. Flowers have so much to them and I enjoy playing with editing the pictures of them, working with the colors and the composition.

Spring means my cats are outside and more birds and squirrels and other animals are roaming around. (The rabbits avoid my yard, so I don’t see many of them.)

I love sitting outside and watching my kids as they run around and swing and make up all kinds of fun and silly scenarios to act out.

and best of all… Spring means summer is coming and I love summer! I love the higher temperatures and being outside a lot.

Health Stuff…

I’ve been having a lot of health problems lately. Some things have come up that are life long and some may not be. I guess I’m putting it up here because I want you all to be in prayer. I’m not asking for a miracle, though that would be nice, but more that I will be His witness while I go through this.

I believe that sickness came about at the beginning, at the Fall. For my non-Christian friends, that is what we call the time that Adam and Eve went against God’s command to not eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and were cast out of the Garden of Eden. God had created a perfect world, but with their sin, their wrong, they started the world, the universe, and all the inhabitants thereof to slowly breakdown over the years and generations. No matter whether Christian or not, we all will suffer from sickness of some kind at some time. Some people will only have small things like flu and colds and live long lives and die of old age and others, like me, will find out they have something a bit more and have to learn to live with it.

As a Christian, I want to be able to use what I have and show people that no matter what, I know God has me in His arms. I’m not afraid of death because I know I will go to Heaven. I know God is there for me even if I don’t feel well, if I’m exhausted, if I’m depressed, or if I feel like I can’t breath.

I started some of this a few months ago and went on some medication to help me and then when I got the bronchitis, my blood work was off and they found something that may or may not be contributing to the first. (If that makes sense.) When I went in to check on my medications (which are helping me wonderfully) the dr was concerned about something else that I mentioned was going on and she ordered more blood work different from what the other dr did when I had bronchitis. (I have two drs right now.) Those came up with another thing… which may or may not be connected in some way with the previous items. Yes, I know I’m being cryptic, but… well, it’s still kind of hard to think of. My drs both know of the other and though they haven’t shared the info they have as of yet, I plan on having them do that.

I’m not really ready to tell what all is going on with me here. Partly because we need to do more tests and partly because I am still learning how to live with it and deal with it myself. When I know more and am ready, I most likely will give you all more details. Right now, patience is required. We must wait a little while before more tests are done. A few weeks for one thing, but months for the other. It is rough not knowing everything, but I will be okay and get through it all.